Building Self Confidence

To be successful we cannot live our life out of fear of what might happen but rather we must live out of our vision for a better life. But sometimes, when faced with obstacles and setbacks, this seems impossible.

We all have fears – fears of the unknown, fears of not being good enough, fears of making a mistake. Fear is part of our survival instinct. When something threatens our well­being, the fight-or-flight response is initiated to respond to the immediate danger. However, there are times when anxiety is generated by our imagination and fed by our interpretations of our experiences, rather than what actually happened.

These fears are only real when we give them power. To overcome such fears we must decide that knowing the truth is more important than the emotions that have surfaced.

Success Begins With Self Knowledge

Confidence is an attitude that demonstrates that true power comes from within. When we worry about something or wish for something else to happen, we believe we need to think about these issues. But often these thoughts just keep us stuck in dis-empowering patterns. When we find ways to quiet our minds, we can take back our power.

Reflection gives us insight into how our feelings are created by our mind-set and how we are interpreting the situation. By becoming aware of our predominant physical and mental states and observing habitual thought patterns and emotional triggers we can shift our thinking.

When we sit still and observe our thoughts, we quickly realize how much our minds chatter in an internal monologue of desires, judgments, doubts, fears, and criticisms. This river of consciousness affects every aspect of our lives: our relationships, our health, and our sense of purpose.

These free-flowing thoughts and associations are useful when we are being creative, but uncontrolled thoughts that focus on fear and create doubts limit our capability to create the lives we want.

What Fear Is Holding You Back?

One of the most powerful ways to shape our lives is to take action – consistent action towards our goals. Our life changes the moment we decide to step outside of our current situation and see our life as whole rather then a series of unconnected events.

Take a moment now to check in with your inner self and ask, "What am I thinking right now?” Tune into your body by feeling your breath. Let your breath bring you back to the present moment. Keep your mind open and observe the moment without trying to change it. Become aware of any images, sensations or insights that surface. Use these emerging ideas to guide and direct your actions.

Letting Go Of Fears

One of the fastest and most effective ways to change our negative emotions is to work directly with the subconscious mind - putting in new ideas and releasing old ones. A simple and easy way that many people have found to be effective is   Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) - sometimes called Tapping.

EFT is a form of psychological acupressure, based on the same energy meridians used in traditional Chinese acupuncture to treat physical and emotional ailments. Instead of the use of invasive needles, tapping with the fingertips is used to input kinetic energy to specific meridians while you think about your problem - whether it is a traumatic event, an addiction, pain, etc. -- and voice positive affirmations.

According to Neuroscience, every event, and every memory you have creates an emotional charge in the brain. This charge creates a neural pathway that signals a response when you remember the event. The combination of tapping the energy meridians and voicing positive affirmations clears the emotional block from your body's bio-energy system, thus restoring balance to your mind and body.

My Refreshing Beliefs Method e-course also uses energy meridian points to  quickly and safely shift limiting beliefs as well as releasing emotions. In this  extensive system you will learn how to identify limiting beliefs and emotions that are holding you back and then reprogram your subconscious mind to support you rather than sabotage your goals.

Building Your Confidence

Every belief, attitude and response that has taken shape in our lives began as a thought. Everything we have created in our lives - good or bad - is a snapshot of our thoughts beliefs and feelings.

To change our life we must recognize that we are solely responsible for the thoughts our mind produces. While we can’t stop our minds completely, we can decide to take charge of our thoughts and create moments of peace, balance and security.

Here are some simple tips to start building more confidence today:

Take Small Steps Daily

For example, if you are nervous and uncomfortable about public speaking, choose to casually interact with more people during the day – when you are getting groceries or standing at the bus stop start a brief conversation and notice what feelings surface.

Practice Feeling Confident

Go for a walk in nature or for a walk down the street and practice feeling and looking confident – take long powerful strides, swing your arms, hold your head up high and smile. Affirm to yourself it’s a great day to be alive and notice how you start to feel more confident as you continue walking.

Notice The Words You Use

Become aware of the words you use and the words used by the people around you. Notice how some words energize you while other words zap your energy. Begin today to notice the words you use and the feelings that develop.

Become aware of dis-empowering words like "can't," "try," "must," "have to," or "should" which emphasize that the situation is out of your control. By exchanging these words for more empowering options such as "will," "want to," "choose to," or "desire," or by eliminating them from your vocabulary, you create a shift from external power to the power of choice.

 Speak Up In Group Conversations

Often people will not speak up during group discussions because they fear being judged for saying something stupid. In my experience, I have found that most people are very accepting because they are dealing with similar fears. By being willing to share ideas in the group, you will become a better communicator, more confident and recognized as a leader. If you notice stress, take those stressful feelings into a process like Refreshing Beliefs Method or EFT  to release them. Create  new empowering affirmations and install them in your subconscious mind.

 Be Curious

We have a natural ability to focus effectively on anything that is of interest to us. An attitude of curiosity creates the desire to know more. When we are interested or engaged, our attention is effortless which leads us to be more at ease and self- assured.

 Take One Step And See The Next Step

Don't feed your fears. Remember, that every situation is temporary. Whenever you go into a place of anxiety, notice your feelings, take a deep breath and think about how you want to feel. Make a conscious choice to feel differently and visualize yourself feeling that way. Release the fear or anxiety with your favorite subconscious change method. If you need help, feel free to contact me for a free consultation.

(This Blog post is posted in memory of and mostly written by  my good friend, Janet Slemko who passed away  a few short years ago. )