Bohmian Dialogue

Over a span of 25 years, David Bohm spent a considerable amount of time in conversation with the famous philosopher and teacher, Jiddu Krisnamurti. From Bohm's experience of these conversations, David Bohm proposed a powerful, free flowing way of dialoguing where people practice experiencing everyone's point of view fully, equally and non-judgmentally in order to reach common understanding.

Bohm felt that open dialogue could help us solve the many crises that face society and expand human consciousness. Indeed, in a world where polarized, fear and domination-based communication is the norm, Bohm dialogue gives us a simple structure to elevate the way we relate to ourselves, each other and the world, preparing the ground for deeper learning, connection and collaboration.

What comes to your mind when someone says that they want to dialogue? What does dialogue mean to you?

The term 'dialogue' often conjures up thoughts of negotiation, conflict resolution, diplomatic talks. It often has specific outcomes in mind such as peace or consensus on a solution to a problem. Action-oriented people may resist it as just talk or a waste of time. This is not what we mean by Dialogue.

Dialogue, as we define and practice it, is different. It is not about discussion, debate, negotiation, conflict resolution or 'just talk.' To invent a new word, we might call it "Whologue" because it invites the "whole-person" and "whole-system" to show up in all its complexity. When people and teams show up and engage from wholeness rather than separation, greater clarity, understanding, and more innovative solutions naturally emerge. Simplicity is found in complexity. Dialogue creates a foundation for higher performance, better communication and elevated engagement. People learn to more effectively 'think together' outside of habitual, limiting thought patterns.

Most people think, react and act based on their past personal or cultural conditioning. We are creatures of habit. This is also true in most team and organizational cultures.

With growing pressure to perform, the complexity of problems and disruptive nature of business today, teams need to be able to 'think out of the box'. To be agile and resilient in business, we need to update how we think individually and together. Improving team capacities to communicate and relate with each other is critical.    

Bohm Dialogue is not "just talk." Instead, it creates optimal conditions for deep learning, shared meaning and understanding to naturally emerge. Teams become more engaged, creative, coherent and collaborative. Communication improves, and they begin to solve problems and create outcomes that are "out of the box" rather than falling back into old, ineffective patterns of thinking. Wisdom and new insights naturally emerge when teams build this capacity to think together from a higher level of connection and consciousness.

To reach the depth of learning, understanding and shared meaning that can come from Dialogue, it is important to have enough time and an open, inviting meeting environment. For teams and complex relationships/situations, it is beneficial for the groups to continue meeting on a regular basis for weeks, months or even years, expanding their capacity to think together, trust, and collaborate. Dialogue becomes core to an agile, creative way of working together.

The agenda for a Bohm Dialogue tends to be very simple.

1. Welcome: The Dialogue host welcomes participants, explains the Dialogue practices and shared agreements (such as confidentiality) and invites participants into agreement. If there is a subject or theme for the dialogue, this is clarified.

Participants will generally be invited to sit in a circle and often use a "talking object" to honor and respect the relationship between speaker and listener without interruption. 

2. Check-in: Each participant does a brief 'check-in,' introducing themselves if necessary, and 'what is moving or present within them.' This could be a feeling/emotion, and observation, an issue, an opportunity, a question or an experience. Each participant gets about 1 minute for this.

3. Flow: An open Dialogue continues, taking its lead from what emerged in the check-in. Participants follow the flow of the conversation, noticing what they have energy for or what learning, theme or focus is emerging as they speak, listen, think and sense together. 

4. Closing: A final round or 'check-out' is conducted where everyone gets an opportunity to briefly share their experience, and what they learned or are taking away from the experience.

In Bohm Dialogue, there is no 'facilitator' charged with directing the process towards specific outcomes. Instead, there is a 'Dialogue Host.'

The host is responsible for creating, opening, and maintaining the container or conditions where participants can engage in open, respectful Dialogue with each other, while they practice and build their capacities to suspend, respect, voice and listen. The host explains these Dialogue practices, notices if/when the conversation slips out of the Dialogue, and if necessary may interrupt the Dialogue and invite people back into the practice. The host also gets to participate in the conversation, but wisely uses restraint to avoid dominating or directing the conversation from their position.

To be an effective host requires the development of certain leadership capacities. It requires personal awareness, emotional fitness, non-attachment to outcome and communication skills. The host, to the best of their ability, models the Dialogue practices with an open mind, open heart and open will.

 Book: "Bohm Dialogue" - Chapter 3)

Participants are invited to agree to 'practices' for the Dialogue. It is a 'practice', because most people are not skilled in Dialogue and fall into old polarizing habits or ineffective communication patterns. In open Dialogue participants are invited to develop new healthier communication skills, but at times will get off track, hopefully notice this, and come back into the practice. For example, consider the practice of meditation, where your mind may spin off into thinking until you notice this and pull yourself back into watching your breath.  A summary of the four Bohm Dialogue practices are:

1. SUSPENDING: Letting go of assumptions, beliefs or certainty about things and opening up to other possibilities, viewpoints, experiences or ideas. This is not about convincing others of your views, but with curiosity, attempting to connect and understand them, and in the process, knowing yourself too.

2. RESPECTING: Seeing and respecting the humanity in others and relating with empathy and compassion to their life journey. By seeing them, you may see yourself more clearly too.

3. VOICING: Discovering your authentic voice and trusting it. This is not about saying something clever or wise. It is about noticing the call within you to speak, or to just respectfully listen and notice that others might be saying exactly what you wanted to say. Speak about only one important idea at a time, rather than talking about all the run-on thoughts arising in you. Less is more. If you or someone is dominating the conversation, notice this and find a way to come back into balanced dialogue.

4. LISTENING: Listen with all your senses and intuition, to the whole person behind the words. You will be listening far more than speaking. With curiosity, hear the tone, cadence, pitch, pauses, movements, meaning, energy, emotions, values and intentions of the speakers. Be present to the beauty and richness of the silent moments too.

The practice of suspending is critical to effective leadership and building collaborative, coherent, innovative team cultures. 

Everyone holds assumptions, opinions, beliefs or judgments. This is a normal part of how human beings filter perception and make sense of the world. However, these often inhibit open communication, create distrust, cause conflict, stifle creativity, and block understanding.

• Assumptions and beliefs are often not conscious to the person holding them or to the group or team. They may not even be true. By clarifying assumptions, it can help individuals and teams get to the causal level of problem-solving rather than reacting or fixing something that is not relevant or is outdated.
• Judgments and opinions can get personal and nobody likes to feel judged. This can create distrust, reactivity and shut down the conversation. They also may not be true. By holding your positions lightly, you open up to new insights and ideas.

In the practice of suspending, participants are invited to at least temporarily suspend or let go of assumptions, beliefs or certainty about things and open up to understanding other possibilities, viewpoints, experiences or ideas. Dialogue is not about convincing others of your views, but with curiosity, attempting to clarify, connect and understand others. In the practice of opening your mind, you may come to knowing yourself better too.

Some tips for suspending:

• Notice or identify your own assumptions about what you are hearing or voicing. Consider being transparent and putting your assumptions out into the open so that others know where you are coming from.
• Imagine putting your assumptions 'on a shelf,' temporarily putting them aside. You can always bring them back down later. 
• Be curious and invite clarification about what assumptions others are making or the hidden assumptions of the group. "What are some of the assumptions we are making about this situation?" "Are these useful or true?"
• Notice your own self-talk, feelings and emotions as they arise. If you find yourself getting emotionally upset, or misunderstanding/conflict arises, examine your own assumptions, beliefs and judgments around this. Pause and be present with the upset. Is it a pattern for you? What is at the core of this upset? When you let go of the source of the upset/conflict within yourself, the pattern usually goes away. If needed, get some assistance from a mentor to help you resolve it.
• Notice yours or the groups beliefs about what is emerging in the Dialogue. Are those limiting or empowering and helpful? If limiting, what would you want instead? What would be more empowering beliefs to hold? How could the impossible be turned into the possible?

To respect means that you accept others for whom they really are, even when they are different from you, or you don't agree with them. In the practice of respecting:

• We are invited to see beyond our differences and respect the core humanity in others.
• We practice relating with empathy and compassion to the life journey of others.
• In the practice of seeing, hearing and accepting others, we open up the opportunity to find shared meaning and harmony.
• We create a safer, more trusting space to set aside differences, and open up the conversation for higher learning and contribution.
• People feel valued and thus are more present, confident and engaged.

In Dialogue, we practice noticing where our voice is coming from, and developing our capacity to more consistently use authentic voice. Voice is core to leadership. A good leader knows when and how to use their own voice, but more importantly opens the space of listening so that others find theirs.

The practice of finding authentic voice is an essential, but complex and nuanced journey. Because of past conditioning and habits of communication, people are often not aware of where their voice is coming from or the impact it has. It can show up in power-over or victim patterns. It can be suppressed, scattered, manipulative, or dominating. True power, connection and positive impact is found in finding and connecting to authentic voice and trusting it.

In Dialogue, practice noticing where your own voice is coming from and making choices to change its vibration for greater clarity and positive impact. For example:

• When you speak, are you clear and concise, or do you tend to run on and on?
• Are you able to be fully present, listening to others, or are you occupied thinking about what you will say?
• Are you comfortable and present with silence moments, or do you break the silence with your voice out of discomfort?
• Are you OK with not saying anything at all - contributing from your presence and listening?
• Are you afraid to speak out, feeling your voice is not important?
• Do you find yourself needing to say something clever, knowledgeable or wise to draw attention to yourself? Alternatively, are you using your voice to ask questions, inviting the wisdom of the group to be expressed?
• Are you able to consciously hold back or restrain from speaking when something needs to be unsaid or is not useful?
• Do you feel that you are not heard when you speak? How do you react? Is this a pattern?
• Can you openly voice your feelings, emotions, uncertainties, errors and discomfort?
• Do you notice when you are 'called to speak' from an insight or intuition and have the courage to speak it out at the appropriate time?
• Do you honor and respect the voice of others? Do some ways of speaking make you upset? How can you shift this experience of upset?

Building the capacity to listen is perhaps the most important practice of all. In western cultures and organizations, deep listening is not a well-developed skill and yet it has the power to transform our world. 

In Bohm Dialogue group, you'll be doing far more listening than speaking. You are invited to listen to learn.

• Listening with presence and curiosity, hearing the tone, cadence, pitch, pauses, movements, meaning, energy, emotions, values and intentions of the speakers.
• Listening with all your senses and intuition, to the whole person behind the words.
• Listening to what is happening within your own thoughts, body, emotions, and deep inner guidance.
• Listen and be present to the beauty, intimacy and richness of the silent moments.
  

Listening happens on several levels. In the Dialogue, you are invited to practice and develop capacities to listen deeper for higher learning and broader perspective. For example, in the Theory U model, there are 4 levels of listening, each being more open and present:

• Level 1 - Downloading:
  • At this level, people are only listening to confirm what they already know and are not really present or learning much. Minds are somewhere else and people can tell that we are not really 'with them.' Productive conversations are unlikely to happen here. Minds are closed so open Dialogue just does not happen here.
• Level 2 - Factual:
  • At this level, people are listening for facts that they don't already know in order to broaden knowledge. Minds are opening, but people are not paying attention to feelings, emotions or the nuances of the conversation, so clues to other important information and insight is often missed.
• Level 3 - Empathic
  • At the empathic level of listening, people are becoming more present to feelings, emotions and the nuance of the conversation. Connection is deeper and more genuine. This listening helps people to feel more safe to share their perspectives and understood. With an open mind and open heart, greater alignment and coherency can be achieved. Conversation is more constructive.
• Level 4 - Generative
  • At this deep level of listening, people begin listening to the system as a whole. Presence is at its peak. Core ideas and greater potentials emerge out of the conversation. This is a safe, creative, energizing, high learning space. This is the ultimate goal of the practice of listening in our Dialogue.

What is Presence?

Here is a discussion of the power and presence within the context of a mentoring relationship or within teams. What is it? What are the benefits and possibilities? How do you practice it individually and in teams?